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Happy Mother’s Day!

Today is a holiday where we celebrate the effort’ of mothers all over the world. We take time to appreciate their sacrifice and the impact that Mom’s have on their family. As in all things with life, we may butt heads at times, argue over silly things and get upset with one another. However, I feel as more time goes on in our lives, we tend to gain more wisdom and start to appreciate our parents more each day.

As I look back on my time with my Mother, I am both grateful and sad, as I remember her this day. I am grateful for the knowledge, love and Christian values she raised me with as a child that allowed me to become the man that I am today. I felt that overall, I had a great childhood and that I was able to handle things with ease. I grew up as an only child and Army brat, so I moved all over the world, mostly the US and Europe. I had to make friends quickly and I realized rather soon that nothing last forever. My Mother passed away sometime in early August 1993, just a few weeks after her 50th birthday. The reason that we are unsure of her actual death is that she passed away and tragically no one noticed her missing. To add to the damage, the summer heat accelerated the decomposition of the body. She was young and sadly, she took her own life. The last decade of her life, she dealt with Multiple sclerosis and this was during a time, when there was a very limited knowledge of the disease. Richard Pryor, even used to talk about it a lot in his stand up comedy sketches, to see if he could learn more about the disease as seen in this video. (Not Safe for Work Video)

It was a very frustrating time for her as her body would randomly fail. One day, she could talk, then next she would be blind and unable to move her legs. She never knew what her body would allow her to accomplish that day until she tried. It also came at a very difficult time in her life, as my parents decided to divorce after 18 years of marriage. My father would have his own difficulties to overcome which prevented them from trying to work things out. I will never forget the day that I told my Dad that I was coming home from Germany on emergency leave to deal with my mother’s passing. He just started crying and was rather upset to hear of her death, which surprised me at the time, since they were fighting so much and was so passionate in a hateful manner toward one another. I am not sure, but I feel that day changed my Dad as much as it changed me, I think my Dad was finally able to let go of a lot of anger in his life and allowed him to live is life with more peace. It shocked me as I watched both of us change our outlook on life and allowed us to both be more communicative. I never really experienced that before with my Dad and it was also hard to see me become more expressive. In relationships with folks today, I see a lot of people struggle with my approach to communicate my feelings with them. It is a wide range of reactions that go from wondering if my words are sincere to complete denial of my words. It just depends on where that other person is in their own life. I try to explain my reason for sharing these words/feelings with others as the impact of losing my Mother and how I wished I could have shared a few more words.hugs with her. I tend to keep close to my heart that we are not guaranteed to live every day. Instead I have learned that you never know when God may take someone home to heaven or remove their abilities to speak, move, feel, etc.

This year is tough for me, because this is the year that marks the halfway point for me. My mother passed away when I was 23 and next year will mark the 24th year that I will have lived longer without having a mother as opposed to the 23 years I lived with my mother. I feel robbed, because I wonder how much of a difference my life would be if I had a mother today. I wonder if things would be different during the holidays, which I normally spend alone if I would have had family to celebrate those days. I also wonder if I would have been more successful in relationships and would not be single today. I will never know those answers and instead I just move forward doing and being the best that I can do each and every day.

I hope you take the time today to appreciate your mother and let her know how much you love her, since you never know if tomorrow will ever come. As for me, I really miss my Mother a lot and wish I could hug her.

God bless you all this day!

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